Coming Out To Family:
Today I had the pleasure to chat on Facebook with special lady who needed support or advice, while I was working on our new official Transgender Insight page. So I decided to write this article in regards to what we discussed. One of the joys of being able to offer support is to show that you are not alone in this world, and if I can offer any assistance what so ever to those who need it. It is always a pleasure to do so.
Despite the fact that it is increasingly clear that transgender is mostly an inborn, hardwired phenomenon much like genetic gender and race, many people still believe that sexual preference is a choice. While it may be nearly impossible to disabuse such rigid and ignorant people of their erroneous beliefs, more flexible and enlightened thinkers understand that transgenderism is almost never a deliberate choice.
What’s more, it seems that human sexuality is a far more complicated matter than previously thought and is woefully inadequate in capturing the wider array of people’s sexual lives. For example, there are transsexual, intersexed, hermaphroditic, and asexual people, too. Indeed, despite increasing social awareness of the complex nature of sexuality (as reflected by the growth of the LGBTQIA—Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Interesex, and Asexual—community) because of the rampant misinformation and prejudice that surrounds transgenderism, coming out can still be a very, very scary and risky business.
So, here are some helpful ideas that can help you and your child to successfully navigate the "post-closet” landscape.
1)Deny that your child’s deep, intimate disclosure of transgenderism is real and true.
2)Blame anyone or anything for the truth of your child’s sexuality.
3)Accuse your child of merely "choosing” this lifestyle or of being mentally ill.
4)Demand that your child seek help or treatment to straighten him or her out.
1)Accept that in most cases transgenderism is not a deliberate choice.
2)Understand that human sexuality is much more complex than most people realize and is essentially a genetic/epigenetic, "hard wired” characteristic.
3)Support your child, who is courageously disclosing the fact that he or she is transgender, by expressing feelings of unconditional love.
4)Validate your child’s sexual preferences by stating your hope is only that he or she will be happy and find genuine love in life.
Keep in mind that almost all healthy people want love, support, validation, and noncritical acceptance; not rejection, criticism, blame, and disapproval.
Remember: If you love your child, cherish and want to protect them in life, it is only through a strong family relationship and love for each other, that can be the binding force against anything. Don’t allow for fear to destroy what you have in place or allow for society to dictate how you should be as a family.
This song is appropriate for everyone...who has to deal with a lot in life...believe in yourself, be strong, stand your ground.